I Will To Live My Ghosts Among
A Thirst of Life Unquenched
Daydreaming
Unto life one bears confusion,
then wonder blankets what chaos wrought,
the comfort there of warm seclusion,
dreaming awake in progress of naught.
Enveloping time does sleep of day,
passes one by in word and thought,
no retrieval had nights awake we lay,
reprieve nor respite can there be sought.
A laughing resounds but in one’s head,
echoes’ resonation betray their mirth,
the words of Living though now long dead,
and whispers of those who’ve not seen birth.
An appreciation for life in its worldly state,
yet ever dreaming of another than earth,
listen of those voices past or born to late,
a retreat from this time even in its dearth.
Virginia could not be here tonight to accept this award…
I wish I could touch your hair
It always looks really pretty
And I bet it smells wonderful
I wish I could kiss you
I wonder how your lip ring tastes
I wish I could hold your hand
And feel it’s warmth
Between my fingers
I wish you could lean your head on my shoulder
I think the weight of it would make me feel safe
I wish that I could be the one
In your arms tonight
I wish I could be the one to call you sweetheart
I wish I could be your man
understandings
I understand now what pain you went through. I understand now the embarassment you put up with. I understand now the heartache you suffered. I understand now the lessons you tried to teach. I undertand now the grief you felt.
I see why you were so hard. I see why you were so rough. I see why you were so caring. I see why you were loving.
You were my umbrella in all my rainy days. You were my shady tree when the sun was to hot. You were my seatbelt when the ride was to fast. You were my tissue when the tears over flow.
Sorry for the pain. Sorry for the whens and hows. Sorry for the chopped and screwed way you were treated.
I now have a full understanding. Full understanding of mothers love. Full understanding of a mothers heart. Full understanding of a mothers suffered moments. Full understanding on wny sometimes you couldnt be my freind. Full understanding on why sometimes you couldnt sugarcoat the realities of life.
Momma now I understand, and its because of your love and my understandings that I am an Independent Woman. And i thank you.
Your Daughter
Tayna Filtidor
My Man
I got a man. This is no ordinary man. This man that I got is one of a kind. He was sent from heaven and handed to me personally by the most high. This man is my angel skies the limit.
I got a man. This is no ordinary man. This man I got is so compasssionate and loving. He brings me flowers and takes me hot showers. This man is my friend blood is so thin in presence.
I got a man. This is no ordinary. This man i got is funny and charming. He makes my worse thoughts and feelings seem like a mere joke. This man is my comic relief when he is around me life doesnt seem so bad.
I got man and what a wonderful man he is. This is no ordinary man.
Tayna Filtidor
Careless Approach
Part 1
This portal
lends itself to fire
gone ablaze in a bloody battle
there is no longer green scenery but,
the aesthetic beauty which lies in red how
gentle it consumes my eyes.
No I do not see a decree of illusion
but a trapping feast of disease.
This is aesthetics to me in this
horrid portal.
A phalanx approaches due to my weak nature.
I reap my demise for i see no reprise.
Seek me no longer for I no longer need to breath.
Part 2
The day makes no sense
The lust killed our innocense
Our blood filled with incense.
No remnants of conscience.
I sleep divided in silence.
The purest words you speak nonsense.
Upon me behold the diverse ideology
which we stand…i no longer seek myself
for i no need to breath.
Part 3
Oh why?
Burn thy soul in torches…
Part 4
With no limit to our knowledge we collapse.
So far ahead but yet we stop to look back.
Everything learned eventuall becomes useless when sleeping in a coffin.
Oh this isnt pessimism you say.
Realism the definition.
What if everything we live is only a dream or an imagination.
Then what exactly is realism?
Then what exactly is any definition?
You cannot define the diluted
So why?
Part 5
Do not find me
do not seek
I no longer do
for i no longer breath.
Cigarettes
An appetite for relaxation,
Consuming another seeking salvation.
Clouds of smoke releasing bits of soul,
Burning into our bodies a hole.
Or burning away our existence?
Burning with burning making no difference.
What we are is what we consume,
Smoke floating as an acquired perfume.
A fire, a drag, a release of anxiety,
Death in a stick, our only deity.
Seeking refuge behind our smoke curtains,
These lips touching our waterless fountains.
Before we realize, our pack is done,
Do not be fooled, our cigarettes have won.
Heads held high we continue walking,
Our smoke shroud forever doing the talking.
Click
Swing hips and coffee pots
Swish, swish, click-click-click
Hands on skin stretched taught
Boom, ba-boom, click-click-click
Steel flying in blurry arcs
Shing,- - click-click-click
Pendulums fail to comprehend
Swing, click, swing, click-click-click
Tiny circles in each hand
Kring, kring-a-chick, click-click-click
Moonlight makes a stump a floor
Thunk, thunk, a-click-click-click
I am.
-DubTak
